Ok, chavs, where shall I begin? If you don’t already know what a chav is (think yourself lucky) then I shall attempt to explain. A chav is basically a burden on society, an antisocial monster, a piece of worthless corrupted youth, and generally a pain in the backside. Now then, chavs have not always been in existance, nope, they appeared virtually over night. 50 years ago everybody was nice and respectful to one an other, people could walk to the shop and buy a paper without locking their front door, they could go into town and be greeted kindly by complete strangers, and the nice local milkman even delivered their milk for them and carefully placed it on their lovely little perfect doorstep. But now it is a different matter. Very different. No longer can anybody leave their front door without locking it, no longer can people go for a nice morning shopping trip, and no longer can somebody have their milk delivered to their doorstep, oh no! Instead their houses get raided by nosy thieving mongrels, instead of morning welcomes in the town they receive foul abuse, and even the milk gets kicked up the street by some twattish yobbo! And we all know whoe’s responsible don’t we people? Why yes! It’s nothing more than a common chav, a rat of society.

That’s what a chav is. They sound lovely don’t they? Well let me continue by providing, you, the reader, with some more interesting little details!

There are many little interesting traits which are generically characteristic of a chav. For a start, chavs are never at home; perhaps they don’t have houses, perhaps they live in flocks outdoors like sheep, or perhaps they’re scared to go home incase their ugly rat arsed father beats them to within an inch of their lives because they won’t give him the last fag in the pack, we will never know. The point is, they’re always roaming the streets. They always prowl around in little packs, with their hooded sweaters done up concealing the ugliness inside. They congregate in groups around bus stops and playgrounds, and on street corners, discussing things of the upmost unimportance and smoking fags or drinking cheap cider from Tesco’s. Another thing is chav clothing. They don’t wear normal clothes like you and I, they wear sports clothes- designer labels. Reebok, Nike, Adidas, Kappa, no avid sportsman in their right mind wears this crap- but chavs find them strangely attractive somehow. Chavs almost always wear tracksuit bottoms- if you glimpse 2 vertical white stripes in the corner of your eye, you better start running. The final worst chav accessories that I simply despise are those huge fucking hoop earrings, I mean, they’re trying to make their appearance better but it just ain’t working!

Chav past times include drinking, smoking, bunking from school, getting pregnant, leaving their satanic graffiti on every surface available and hurling abuse at poor handicapped old ladies. Many a time have I seen an old pensioner or war veteran slowly limping past a group of these bastards and I can see inside that they are really cowering in fear and holding tightly for dear life onto their walking sticks.

In recent years the chav population has increased- slowly at first, but now at a phenominal rate. Why, I hear you ask? Well let me tell you why- they are going at it like fucking rabbits! It is not uncommon in England to see a chavvy mother of 17 with a push chair full of they’re little yapping inbred offspring. Another load of them on the production line, with a little luck they will me fully matured by the time they are 14!

I could go on all day about these little shits of society but I must stop somewhere so I will finish off. England used to be nice, but no longer is that the case, because chavs are making England the shit hole that it is. England has had its time at the top, and it’s on the way down, and the chavs are the sole cause. So let us unite and wipe them off the face of the Earth forever, and let England reclaim its former respectable glory!

If your feeling brave here is a picture of a chav you might want to get a bucket first! Viewer discretion advised.

Tell me what you think, have a nice day!


~ by threeminutethoughts on November 30, 2007.

3 Responses to “Chavs”

  1. lol i wanna post something funny but you have basically covered it all! u had m in stitches, as this is everything i have ever thought about the disgusting species we call the chav, written down on paper!

    whats the next one going to be about…..?

    ps: ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!

  2. Here in the U.S. we have some of these type of people, we call them wiggers meaning white-wana-be-n*iggers. Although I fear they are not anywhere as horrible as your Chavs. The origin of these types in the U.S. are our getto/hood gangsters. These getto-gangster low- life’s have had a unfortunate influence on young people throughout the world. I could go on but I’m too disgusted.

    Good article,

  3. the thing is, where did these chavs come from, margret thatcher i think, the wave of thinking about YOUR own rights and what YOU deserve, not that chavs know about politics and government(excluding the “benefit” they get), its just the selfish and “quick fix” attitude they have

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